Moonless Night
by ManzanaSilla
Summary: When Jacob leaves Nessie, she has a hard time. She starts to spend time with another brown-eyed boy. Can he fix her?
1. Reinforcement

**Okay. So its 5:21 A.M. I just felt like I needed to write. I'm totally not sure if this plot is over used or if the title has already been used but I hope you like it anyway. I'm a little insecure about my writing do please bare with me. :D That's enough chit-chat I suppose. Thanks for giving this a shot. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the lyrics.**

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**I'm miles from where you are,  
I lay down on the cold ground  
I, I pray that something picks me up  
And sets me down in your warm arms**

**-Set The Fire To The Third Bar  
Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright**

**Reinforcement**

_*Flashback*_

"_What are you trying to say, Jacob?"_

"_I-I don't know what I want. I just-I just feel like this is to fast" He stumbled over his words as he ran his fingers through his hair._

_This totally pissed me off for some reason. I knew some how this would come back to my age. Everything in my life is about my age. I can't do this and I can't do that because I am, and I quote, "To young."_

"_I thought you loved me." I sobbed. I was this close to having a breakdown. I knew I shouldn't of loved him more than a brother._

"_I-I do Renesmee. This is just to fast." He said again._

" _Why do you keep on saying this is to fast? I'm 18" I was letting to tears fall freely now._

"_No your not!" He shouted. "Your 8 years old."_

"_I don't look 8 years old" I whispered._

"_Nessie," He began._

"_No, no!" I interrupted. "Don't try to apologize. I just wish you would get over this whole thing with age. It's not exactly relevant in my family. In case you didn't know my dad is over 100." I'm surprised this came out of my mouth by the way I was sobbing. I'm pretty sure I was going into hysterics. _

"_I gotta go. I need to get away."_

"_What?" Shock rocked my body. I've never known a life with out him. It's been him since the very beginning._

"_I need to go somewhere. I need to think."_

"_Are you coming back?" Fear consumed my voice._

"_I'm not sure."_

_And because of the little drama queen that I am, I fainted._

That was 2 and a half weeks ago. I was vaguely filled in on the events that followed while I was unconscious. The only reason why I know these facts were because I've been spying on my family. What I learned was, when I fainted my parents ran from the man house to where me and Jake were standing. Or rather where he was standing and I was now laying on the ground. Anyways, My father had a few words for Jacob which apparently they would not repeat for me to hear. And then I woke up in my bed dressed in my pajamas. I wasn't depressed per se, but I wasn't myself. I ran out of tears about 5 days ago. That's when the silence took over. I didn't talk unless directly spoken to. I barely ate. Which probably started this whole thing.

"Nessie honey, You need to eat something." Called Grandma Esme.

I suppressed a sigh. "I'm not hungry."

"Come on, I'll make you eggs."

"As tempting as that sounds I think I'll pass."

"Renesmee, your going to eat."

"Fine." I didn't hold back my sigh this time. I didn't have the energy to argue.

I went to the kitchen and sat down on a bar stool and watched Grandma Esme fry my eggs. My mom and dad were still at the cottage, doing God knows what. Poor Uncle Jasper apparently couldn't stand my so called depression, so he left and naturally Alice went with him.

Uncle Emmett sat down on the stool next to me.

"She's making you eat huh."

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"So. I thought about going hunting later."

"Hmm." I knew what he was trying to do."

"Wanna go?"

"Nope."

"Okay. Well, I thought about robbing Burger King. Wanna help with that?"

"Nope." Esme set the eggs in front of me and I began picking at it.

" And then after that I thought about setting fire to the post office. I know how much you like arson. Wanna help with that?"

"There's no use Em. She's not going to smile." Aunt Rose said as she walked in and stood next to Uncle Emmett. He put his arm around her waist.

"I can smile. See." I did my best smile I could make myself do.

"That's a fucking grimace." Aunt Rose said. " And you need to go get dressed"

I looked down at my sweats and T-shirt. "Why?"

She gave me this weird smile. "I called in reinforcement."

**I hope you like it! I want at least 2 reviews. Lol. Don't worry. I won't be on of those authors who begs for reviews. They annoy the hell out of me. Like I said earlier thanks for giving this a shot. I hope the title is not too cliché. Now press that pretty green button!**


	2. The Start

**So last chapter was a little sloppy. I'm 98% sure this one will be too. But I'm looking into a beta, so hopefully that will end well. Anyone interested? lol. It's short, i know, but i think when the story gets flowing they will become longer. I'm just gonna tell ya now. I suck at grammar and sentence structure. But like i said earlier, please bare with me. Just remember I'm new to this! lol. That's a poor excuse. Writing is a talent. Sadly, i think it might be one more i might be lacking. lol. Not to throw my self a pity party or anything. lol. Whatever :) On with it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothin'!**

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_**Knowing things would never be the same, With your empty heart and mine full of pain~~Before The Worst-The Script**_

"Reinforcement? What the hell is reinforcement?" I had a feeling this was going to end bad. No one uses the word reinforcement. She makes it sound like she called a swat team or something.

"Well, I just called one of your friends. No big deal." Aunt Rose said like it was in fact no big deal.

One of my friends? I don't have any friends besides….

"The pack? You called the fucking pack?" I was off the stool now. Why would she call the damn pack? Can't she see thats the last thing i need right now?

"No. Not the whole pack….." She said innocently.

"Rosalie, Who did you call?" I was getting pissed. She needs to just spit it out.

"I just called Seth. I just figured you could.." She started

"Why would you call him?!" I was horrified. Yes, Seth was my best friend under Jacob, But I didn't want him to see me like this.

"I think you need to talk with someone." Said Emmett.

"You Knew about this?! I thought you liked me!" I shouted. I seriously feel like my family has turned their back on me. Maybe thats just the drama queen talking.

"Why are making a big deal out of this!?" Rose shouted back at me. She was never afraid to get in your face. No matter who you are.

"Grandma!" I whined, Turning to Esme.

"I'm not in this." She says while she throws her hands up in surrender and backs out of the kitchen.

Just then my parents walked in. _Help me!_ I thought to my father.

"Rosalie, Why would you do this?" He questioned.

"Look at her. She's a mess. And I like this mutt much better then the old one. I'm hoping for a upgrade from the last one." She didn't leave the hatred out of her voice that she had for Jacob.

I was about to say something particularly vulgar to her but my mom silenced us.

"Enough!" My mom yelled. "Renesmee go upstairs please."

I listened to her. Only because my mom is usually well tempered, but when she yelled you listen. But I also couldn't be in the same room as rose, right now.

I stomped up the stairs and laid on my bed. Face down in the pillows. I could still hear them though, if I concentrated hard enough.

"Rosalie, you don't understand why this would be hard on her. He's a wolf, He's part of Jacobs pack. Seth would just remind her of him. And I don't think that's really what she needs right now." My mom said. At least she new why I didn't want to see him.

"Bella, When Edward left you, you had Jacob to pick up the pieces. Why can't she have Seth?" Emmett spoke up. I remember being told the story when I was about 13 when my father left my mother.

"I just don't want it to end how me and Jacob ended. I don't want Seth to get hurt." Mom explained. How they ended? As far as I knew they were fine. I didn't think anything happened between them.

"Who said it would, Bella? Seth's not as dumb as Jacob. He wouldn't fall for her like he did you." Sneered Aunt Rose.

"Just drop it." Said my dad. "He's here."

I heard the front door open. I heard his husky voice ask if I was upstairs. He climbed the stairs. I could smell his woodsy scent. Though it was nothing compared to my Jacobs, Smelling it made my heart ache. There was a soft knock on my door.

"Ness, Can I come in?"

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Kay. Hope it was okay. One again i apologize for the shortness. And i love that song. Press that pretty green button please!


	3. My Visitor

**Hey Guys! I swear its been a long week. Hope you enjoy! And I'm going to stop apologizing for the shortness.**

**Disclaimer:I own nothing! But i did have a werid obsession with this song awhile back.**

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**The first one is the worst one,When it comes to a broken heart,Your first love, yeah, you're so young,And you feel like a fallin' star,**

**-The First One, Boys Like Girls**

"Ness, Can I come in?" I sat up and inwardly groaned. I really didn't want him to be here.

"Yeah." I answered anyways. "Look you don't need to be here. I didn't ask for you, so if you want to leave, you can." Maybe he'll get the hint and leave.

He walked in and I instantly thought of the resemblance him and Jacob shared. They both had the same short black hair, same russet skin, and they were both ripped. Of course, Jacob is more muscular then Seth. And better looking. Maybe I'm just biased.

He sat down indian style in front of me. We sat there for a while with out saying anything. That was fine with me. I didn't want to talk. He clearly had a different idea.

"Damn Ness, You look tore up." He finally said.

"Well, aren't you just the little charmer?" I said sarcastically. I seriously do not need this.

"Awh. Nessie, You know I'm just kidding. Actually no. I take that back, you look pretty bad." This was Rosalie's idea of making me feel better?

"Oh, Whatever. I don't look that bad, do I?" He gave me a look that said "You look like you got ran over by a steamroller." I rolled my eyes and got off my bed and went to my full length mirror. I was shocked by what I saw. Since Jacob left I haven't really cared about my appearance. I really did look tore up. My face was paler then usual and I had dark circles under my eyes. My usually perfect curls that hung to my mid-section were a wild bronze mess on top of my head. My chocolate brown eyes looked different. Dead. I was a slender person anyways, but I looked skinnier. I looked away. I really let myself go. No wonder she called in "reinforcement."

I turned back around. "I look like shit."

"Yes. You really do."

I rolled my eyes at him again. He's very blunt, isn't he?

"So, what do you plan on doing about it? Do you really think you can help me?" I asked. I was pacing back and forth in front of my bed. He got up and stood in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Yes, I do." He said has he looked me straight in the eyes.

"What if I don't want help?" I whispered looking down. He removed his hands from my shoulders. He lifted my chin up so I was looking at him.

"You can't just sit here. You need to start acting like you have a life."

I didn't want to point out Jacob was my life. "Its not the same. I'll be fine. Just leave me alone until he comes back."

"What if he doesn't? Have you thought about that? Are you going to act depressed forever? You have people who love you. We hate to see you like this. When your ready, call me." He turned around to leave.

I took a second to let what he said sink in. He was opening the door. Oh, what the hell?

"Fine."

He turned around. "Fine, what?"

Really? He was going to do this to me? "Fine. I'll let you "help" me." I said using air quotations.

"Excellent!" he said as he smirked.

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Please Review!


	4. Leaving

Hey everybody! Twice in 2 days! I'm on a roll! :)

Disclaimer: Nothin' is mine, But Hawthorne Heights are pretty amazing, right?

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**And all I had was the memory of what was, so let's pretend it never mattered to us**

**-Pens and needles-Hawthorne Heights**

"Excellent!" he said as he smirked. "Now go get ready. We gotta go to Emily's, She misses you. And guess who imprinted?"

"Collin?" He shook his head. "Brady?" Again no. "Any of the young ones?"

"Jesus! Embry!" He said.

"Embry? seriously?" Ha. Embry is the playboy of the pack. He basically has a new girl every week. "Does she know about his past?" I asked laughing. It felt good to laugh. I haven't done it in awhile.

"No. And were not bringing it up. Okay?" He went serious as he said it.

"Oh, come on. Give me more credit then that. You know I wouldn't do that. I'd hate to ruin another imprint." I said as I looked down.

"Ness," He began.

"Never mind." I said putting my hands up. "I didn't mean to throw that little pity party. I'm going to get ready kay? Give me 30?"

"Yeah, I'll be down stairs."

I went to the bathroom. I needed a shower if I even wanted to think about brushing through my hair. I got in the shower. I let the warm water relax me. Since Jacob left the shower has become my best friend. I could let myself cry with out anyone knowing. The heat of the water also reminds me of him too. I miss him so much. I try not to let myself think of him. Maybe Seth would be good for me.

I turned off the water and got out. Wrapped in a towel I went to my closet. I pulled on some underwear and a bra. I don't want to wear sweat pants to Emily's, no matter what mood I was in. I decided on a yellow sweater with a U neck and some dark jeans. I put on some black pumps.

I went to the bathroom and blew dry my hair until it fell into perfect waves. As I was doing this, I wondered how the pack would be around me. Would they be hesitant around me, afraid to upset me? Or would they pretend it never happened? I was hoping for the latter. I finished my hair and added mascara since my eyelashes are the same bronze color as my hair. With a deep breath I opened my door and went down stairs.

Esme was sitting on the couch reading a cookbook. She looked up and smiled at me. "They're in the kitchen, honey."

I smiled back. I walked into the kitchen to see Rose, Emmett, my parents, and Seth around the island.

"You ready to go?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'll see you guys later."

I turned to leave and Rosalie called out: "Have fun sweetie!"

I just flipped her off.


	5. Explaining

**I typed this up yesterday but didn't put it up because when i tried to upload it it said error. So i tried it again today hoping it was just last night, but it still wouldn't work. So i had to export one of my chapters and delete what was written there and put this chapter. But i couldn't copy and paste because every time i did my Internet would shut down. Whatever. So i had to retype it all on here. lol. I hope you like it! Review please. I asked nicely. I would like some suggestions. :) Oh and if you look at my profile you will see what i think Nessie looks like!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!**

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**So explain to me, how it came to this,  
Take it back to the night we kissed  
-Before the worst-The Script**

We walked over to Seth's green truck and got in. we drove down to the end of the drive way when he took a left instead of a right.

"Uh, Where are we going?"

He looked over at me. "I'm going to take the long way. We need to talk and i figured you didn't want your whole family listening to us.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine. Completely fine." The look he gave me he knew i was lying. I just didn't want to talk about it. Everybody has been trying to talk to me. Why cant they just leave me alone?

"Nessie, Your not fine. I can tell your not fine. Just please talk to me." He gave me sad puppy dog eyes and I knew i would comply.

"God. Okay, What do you want to know?"

"What happened?" He asked.

"He left. You know that." I wasn't ready to give him the hairy details yet.

"Why?"

"Why? i don't know. I'm not the mind reader in my family. Probably cause he's a douche."

"Ness, cant you be serious for 2 minutes?"

"Um, Is he not? I don't know why he left. Something about this being to "fast." I used air quotations.

"What was fast?"

I was now replaying that night in my head. I refused to let myself think about it. I remembered the pain that overwhelmed me. I still feel that pain. It's more subtle during the day. But at night it comes back full-throttle. That's the reason I've been sleeping at the main house. So my dad doesn't read my mind. But i think he can still read it despite the distance. My eyes were starting to water and spill over.

"Ness?" He said after a minute.

I shook my head and gazed out the window. I watched the green pass until we started to go slow and we came to a stop. I heard him move in his seat so he was kind of facing me. I still wouldn't turn my head.

"Nessie, look at me." He pleaded. I shook my head again.

"Renesmee." He said, his voice more stern. I knew i didn't have a choice. I turned my head to look at him. I'm sure my eyes were red from my silent tears.

"What happened?"

I took a deep breath and looked down. "It was 2 days before he left. We were sitting in my room, basically doing nothing. we were laying on my bed, with my head on his shoulder. I was a dumb ass. I shouldn't of done it." I stopped. I didn't want to say it out loud.

"Done what?

"I kissed him." I admitted. I looked up into his eyes expecting to see judgement. But what i saw was understanding.

"And when i tried to apologize he said it was okay, but he had to go. I called him the next day but he didn't answer. Then he came over the day after that and told me he was leaving." My voice cracked on the last word. I was crying more freely now.

Seth scooted closer to me and wrapped his warm arms around me. "It was stupid of me. I-" He cut me off.

"Honey, This is not your fault. He's the one that's stupid for leaving you."

"I thought he loved me." I said with a sniff.

"He does love you. He's just scared. But that still doesn't change the fact he could of handled this better." He said.

"He only loves me because of the imprint. I wish he never had." Even as I'm saying it, I don't believe it. I don't expect Seth will either.

"That's not true." He said as he let go. He went back to his side of the truck. The tears had stopped.

"Yeah, I know."

"Why don't we head to Emily's now?"

"Um. Okay." And with that he took off.


	6. My Girl

**Had a snow day so i thought i would write. I think this is kinda sweet. Thank you to all who has reviewed. Don't forget to add to story alerts! I get emails saying you favored my story but didn't add to the alerts or left a review saying you loved it but didn't get an alert. How you gonna know when i have a new chapter? any who, i would like you to review even if its saying i suck. I know how many people clicked on this story i should have more reviews!!!!! But I'm not gonna complain. I think 15 is pretty darn good for me. I see some with like 10 chapters that only have like 6 reviews so I'm not trying to be greedy. I need a Beta, btw. Just saying. Are you even reading this?? Whatever. I think i have a one-shot planned out but i don't know if i should post it. Any one want a summery of it! I'll pm it to ya!**

**Disclaimer:I do not own Twilight! Or Boys like Girls! Too bad!**

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Get up and go, Take a chance and be strong  
You can't spend your whole life holding on  
-Go-Boys Like Girls

I was nervous as we pulled into Emily's drive. We climbed out of the truck. I think Seth could tell I was nervous because he simply patted my back and walked in front of me. He was already inside when I was still coming up the steps. I could hear him being greeted, by the way it sounds, Embry, Quil, Claire, Emily, and a voice I don't recognize_. Good._ I thought. _Not the whole pack._

"Look who I found!" Seth exclaims cheerfully, just as I walk in.

"Nessie!" They all yelled.

"Hey, guys." I said casually.

Claire practically ran to me and flung her arms around me. She was almost 11 years old now and she was starting to look like beautiful young lady. Especially with her long, straight, raven black hair that I envied so much. Quil was very lucky.

"I missed you so much!" she said into my hair.

I laughed. "I missed you too, short stuff." It really has only been 2 weeks since I've seen the pact and their imprints, but these are people I saw almost everyday. It felt like forever.

Emily was the next person to pull me into a hug.

"How you doin' hon?" She asks.

"Fair." Was all I replied.

"Ness! I have someone I want you to meet!" Said Embry as he pulled a blonde over to where I was standing. When she was closer I could tell she had pale green eyes and her face was cover with freckles. She was pale and she had that kind of hair that couldn't decide if it wanted to be wavy or straight. She had on a simple t-shirt and jeans. She was adorable. As in complete opposite of the whores Embry usually brings around.

She stuck her hand out to me. "Hi. I'm Diane Goode." She said with a southern accent.

I took her hand. "Nessie Cullen. Its nice to meet you."

"You too." She responded shyly. I wondered if she was always this shy or if I intimidated her.

"Nessie, come sit with me on the couch." cried Claire.

She pulled me to the living room and I sat down on the love seat next to Quil. He patted my knee. Claire climbed into Quil's lap. Seth, Embry, and Diane sat down on the couch in front of us. Emily sat down on the recliner.

I figured someone had to break the silence. "So, uh, Diane where are you from?"

"Oh, well I'm from Georgia." She replied. I hope she doesn't stay this shy.

"Why did you move to Washington?" I was hoping I could start a conversation with her and get her out of this shell she was in.

"I decided I wanted to go to school up north. So I decided on the University of Washington. Go Huskies!" She says with a nervous laugh and a small arm pump.

"Where is everybody else?" Seth asked.

"They have some work to do." Emily replied. I'm guessing work meant pack stuff and Diane wasn't filled in on that stuff yet. Seth and I just nodded our heads. Sam was still phasing but only for a couple more years. Paul quit last year and Jared quit about 4 months ago. Paul quit when Rachel got pregnant with their first child, A girl, that's now 6 months old. Her names Alexis. Jared and Kim are expecting their second child. I'm guessing she's about 4 months pregnant. They also have a 4 year old son named Noah. And Sam and Emily also have a daughter. Delilah was only about 4 weeks old. Speaking of Delilah, I heard crying coming from the back.

Emily started to get up, but I stood and put my hands up to stop her.

"Let me get her, Emily."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Its no problem." I walked down the hall and into Delilah's bedroom. It was painted light pink with butterflys everywhere. All I could think about is she's probably going to hate this when she's older.

I walk over to her crib and pick her up. She immediately stopped crying. She was wearing a yellow onesie. Her black hair was sticking up everywhere. Looking at her made me smile and I felt a happiness in my heart I haven't felt in weeks.

"Hey pretty girl. How are you today?"

She smiled up at me.

"You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you."

I walked over to the rocking chair. I've always wanted a baby. When I was little I would play house all the time. I would always imagine what mine and Jacobs child would look like. Hopefully his russet skin and black hair. But in my dreams it always had my eyes.

I started rocking Delilah and then I started humming "My Girl" by The Temptations. I remember Jacob would sing this song to me when I was little. Then I started singing it.

"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day, When its cold outside I've got the month of may."

Her eyes started to close.

"I guess you can say, what can make me feel this way, My girl, my girl, my girl, talkin' bout my girl."

She closed her eyes and a few seconds later I could hear her breathing go steady. I don't know how long it was that I just sat there rocking until Seth knocked on the door.

"You wanna head back to the house?" he asked.

"Yeah." I put Delilah in her crib.

I walked out back to the living room and gave my good byes. We got in Seth's truck and started down the road. There's a question that's been bothering me.

I turn toward Seth. "So, Where is he at?"

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I know theres not alot of the pack but trust me, I know what I'm doin'. Review!!!!!!!!!!


	7. Waiting

**Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know i will not be updating next weekend. Wednesday is my birthday, (Sweet Sixteen!!!) And my sister and niece are flying in from to Nevada for it. Needless to say, i will be busy! Please don't be mad! :) This chapter is super short! But i didn't want to combined the next chapter and this one together. Y'all should expect shortness from me by now anyways. lol. I would also like to thank _beautifulmonsters_ and _emma217_ for reviewing every time i put up a new chap. And also a thanks to _eeyore-ft-tigger_ who's reviews always make my day. :D Thanks ladies!!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothin'.**

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** I got a first class ticket to a night all alone, And a front row seat up right by the phone, Cause you're always on my mind-Heels Over Head-Boys Like Girls**

I turn toward Seth. "So, Where is he at?"

He kind of did a double take to look at me. He ran his hand through his hair.

"Um, I don't know here he's at."

"Don't lie to me Seth. I'm not an idiot." I said with a huff.

He hesitated."Okay, fine. Your not an idiot and I guess you deserve to know." He paused and fidgeted a little in his seat. "He doesn't stay phased that long. I know the last time he phased he was in Idaho. That was about a week ago. And when he's a wolf he just basically ignores the pack."

"Why doesn't he stay phased?" I asked curiously.

"Well, I figured he didn't want us in his head. Seems reasonable enough. But when he ran off when you mother got married he stayed phased. So, I really don't know." He shrugged.

I turned back straight in my seat and stared out the windshield. Reasonable enough? Does that mean if Seth were in this situation too he would basically ignore his family? I would ask him about it but I wanted to know more about Jacob.

"So, What does he think about when he is in wolf form?"

"You." Seth said simply.

We pulled up in my drive way and just sat there for a few seconds.

"Well, Thanks for today, But I think I better go inside."

I was half way out of his truck when he grabbed my arm. He looked me seriously in the eyes. "Call me, please."

"Okay." I said knowing I probably wouldn't. I got out and made my way to the house. I went inside and noticed everybody was gone. Except one.

"Well, hello there kiddo! I didn't expect you back so soon!" Exclaimed Emmett.

"Its 9 o'clock." I pointed out. "I'm going to bed." I tried to make my way to the stairs but he blocked my way.

"Don't you want something to eat?"

"No."

He sighed. "Whatever. Have it your way. But could you at least tell me what you did?"

It was my turn to sigh. "I didn't really do anything. I spent most of my time with Delilah."

"Why? That's sounds very boring."

I crossed my arms. "Cause I could. Can I go up stairs now?" Truth was I really didn't want to hang out with the pack because they were just reminders of Jacob.

"Yeah I guess." He moved out of the way. "I love you Ginger."

"Love you too." I responded and made my way up the stairs.

I decided to take a shower again. I spent extra time conditioning it and blow drying it. I knew I was holding off going to bed. I decided I was going to read some. I read for awhile but my eyes got heavy. I turned out the light and waited for the agony to begin.

**Review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	8. Pain

**Hey guys! I just wanted to say my weekend was effin' EPIC!!!! I love college basketball!!!! This is just a short little filler. :) I debated rather or not to write it cause my new heart meds. make me super tired but i had a snow day, so i was like why not? I also have one tomorrow. I'll be going to school in June it looks like! How was your valentines day??? My mom totally bought me a box of New Moon chocolate. I felt quite special. lol. Review please! even if this chapter is short! Please and thank you!

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**I just wanted you to know I think about you every night When I fall asleep  
You are in my dreams And just like in a movie  
The one you want to see With a happy ending**

**-We are so last year-Hawthorne Heights**

The pain was tough. It ripped through my heart like a dagger. I have to deal with this every night. It's a hot, burning sensation that starts in my chest and goes into the pit of my stomach. I would just lay there for hours going through this pain, that I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy. This is why Jasper left. He would feel this too.

I turned over and look through my silent tears at my alarm clock. 2:48. I gritted my teeth and turned on my stomach. Stupid Jacob Black. He better be enjoying himself where ever he is.

I finally fell asleep but my unconscious state wasn't much better. I would always have the same dream.

It would start off with me walking in the woods. The place didn't look familiar but I felt like I knew it. I would hear this noise and turn around to see a gigantic russet wolf. Jacob. I would yell his name but he would just turn as if he didn't hear me. I would run after him but I would always get enveloped in some black mist. I would then start running faster and fall into a big hole. I always woke up screaming.

Last night was no different. Nobody comes to check on my anymore, they know I only screamed because of the dream.

I looked at the clock to see it said 7:27. I sighed and made my way down stairs to start on another lonely day.


	9. Phone Call

**Hey everyone! I need help getting a beta, cause apparently the way I'm going about it is wrong. So someone please explain to me how it works. Also, I keep on getting emails saying that people have been favoriting my story but not adding it to story alerts. How are you gonna know when i update? Makes no sense to me. and since i have such faithful reviewers on this story i think you should go to my page and read and review my new one-shot "I Simply Love You" Its about Nessie and Jacob. :) Yes, i am self promoting myself. And if you read this note put the word pink in your review! Thanks! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Boys like girls, or Safetysuit. If only i did. I would be one happy 16 year old. Do i even need a disclaimer?**

* * *

I've got your hair on my pillow and your smell in my sheets  
And it makes me think about you with the sand in your feet  
Is it all you thought it'd be?  
You mean everything to me  
-Heels over head-Boys like girls

I haven't talked to Seth since that night. 3 days have passed and I haven't heard from him so I figured he gave up on me. Hopefully.

I was washing my dishes from my dinner when the phone rang. If this was weeks ago I would have rushed to get the phone hoping and praying it was Jacob. After 5 disappointing calls I quit answering, so I was a little surprised when my dad told me it was for me.

I took the phone up to my room, I knew they could still hear me but it made me feel like I had more privacy.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Says a husky voice that belongs to Seth. "Whats up?"

"Um, Nothing much. I was just washing dishes."

"So much fun." He laughed. "I have news."

"'Kay. Go on." I say a little hesitantly.

"Well Embry and Diane are getting married!"

"Oh wow. That's awesome. Do they have a date yet?" I may not of sounded that happy but I was. This was a big deal. It just took at lot to make me excited these days.

"Yeah they said something about July 11th. You are of course invited. Their sending out invites but I just wanted to tell you first."

July 11th. That's enough time for me to muster some happiness.

"And Kim wanted me to pass along that Noah's 5th birthday is Saturday and you are invited. You gonna go?"

"Um, I don't know"

"I know you don't have plans. Please? You can come with me!" He begged.

"Can I at least think about it?" I asked. Being around people is not one of my strong suits.

"Yeah, I guess. Oh, I got even better news! Leah imprinted!"

"No way! Good for her. Who knew she would find love in Florida. Tell her I said Congrats!" I was generally happy at this. If anyone deserved a happy ending it was Leah. I knew she just got out a long term relationship a couple of months ago. No wonder she couldn't find love here, He was at the University of Florida.

"Will do. I also have some news on Jacob. If you want to hear it of course."

Did I want to hear it? He must have changed and can control what the pack hears so what if he's sleeping around or going drugs or he really let himself go too. Do I want to know these details?

"No, but if you know where he is I would like to know that."

"He's still in Idaho as far as I can tell. The southern part."

"Oh." Was all I could say. I may be suspicious but something or someone has to be keeping him in Idaho for more then a week.

"How are you doing?"

"The same since the last time I saw you. Did you expect anything else?" I say with a little bit more attitude the I wanted.

"No." I could tell I kind of busted his bubble.

"Sorry, Can we just not talk about it."

"What do you want to talk about then?"

"Anything."

We talked for about one and a half hours. We talked about everything from sports to what to get Noah for his birthday to the new Safetysuit single to what kind of breed of dog Seth should get. I actually smiled and laughed. I felt good.

"Well, Ness I'm gonna go. I have work in the morning."

"Oh okay. Do you uh, do you wanna come over tomorrow?"

"Really Nessie? Sure. I'd love too."

"Okay, See you then. Bye."

I hung up and mentally slapped myself. What was I doing? I shouldn't treat him as a substitute Jacob.

I got ready for bed and got in it. I got that sinking feeling in my stomach that I was, once again, alone.


	10. Tired

**Hey guys! Sorry! I know its been like since March when i updated last. Some unexpected events came up and life pretty much happened. **

* * *

Ooh, I can't take this very much longer, no  
I'm stranded in a sleet of rain  
Wheel In The Sky-Journey

I woke up with a start the next morning. I had the same dream, but it was different. Seth was there. Right before I fell in the whole he was there. I could see his face until I hit the bottom and woke up with a scream. I guess he was only there because I talked to him

before I fell asleep last night.

Which reminded me that he was coming over today. I looked over at the clock and it read 8:49. He should be up by now. I just realized we didn't set a time to come over, so I texted him.

[Nessie]: What time do you plan on coming over?  
[Seth]: Arnd 11. Is tht k?  
I rolled my eyes at his texting slang. And replied.  
[Nessie]: That's fine.

I needed to get ready.

I made my way downstairs, suddenly hungry. I haven't felt that feeling in awhile.

As I make my way into the kitchen, the only person I see is my grandpa C.

"Where is everyone?" I ask as I take a box of cereal out of the cabinet. He's sitting at the table reading the paper. "Well, your Grandma Esme is upstairs working on plans for a new house."

He must have noticed the look on my face when he said that, as he said "Not that were moving or anything. She just wants to have a drawing, in case we need one."

I exhaled. Good, the thought of moving was terrifying. This is the place where I grew up.

"Okay, good. And everybody else?"

"Rose and Emmett went to Portland. Something about a car part and shopping. And your parents mentioned something about getting ready and going to your Grandpa Charlie's."

"Oh." Was all I said as I put my bowl in the sink. "Well, Seth's coming over in a little while. So I gotta go get ready."

"Okay sweetie." He said with out looking up from the paper.

I turned to go up the stairs. First I need to take a shower. I think I might straighten my hair today. And that requires a lot of work and time.

As I was in the shower, I thought about the day ahead of me. It was really just out of the blue when I asked Seth to come over. I hadn't planned it and it slipped out of my mouth. There wasn't much to do at my house. Unless you waned to play video games, Which is not on my favorite thing list.

I turned the shower off and went to my closet. I decided on some denim shorts and a dark green tank-top. It had been warm all week.

Now to start on my hair. I dried it straight and put some imported hair lotion Alice got me and I began straitening my bronze her with a flatiron.

Just as I was finishing my hair with hairspray, I got a text.

[Seth]: Here!

I went downstairs, taking the stairs two at a time. So what? I was excited to see my friend.

I opened the front door. And he was standing there. Red t-shirt and jeans. A lump formed in my throat. God, he was so much like Jacob.

I cleared the lump and motioned for Seth to follow me up the stairs.

We got to my room and he laid on my bed, whereas I sat at the edge. We were silent for about 2 minutes.

"So, what do you want to do today?" He asked looking up at me.

"Um, well, it doesn't really matter. You know it's super boring here." I said with a yawn.

"You tired?" He questioned.

I nodded. "Yeah, I haven't been sleeping well."

"Come here." Seth motioned toward me to lay with him.

"Um?"

"What? Come here."

So I did. I laid next to him with my head on his shoulder. It felt nice and I drifted off to sleep.


	11. Different

Hola! Long time, no read, huh? Sorry! Hopefully you remember what this story is about. It's true what every author says on here, Reviews do help us write! So please review! :) and remember, I'm infamous for short chapters!

I decided to use a different P.O.V.

* * *

Over the last few of weeks, I've been hanging out with Nessie a lot. Actually we've been hanging out almost everyday. Sometimes we would be hanging out at her house, my mom's, or even Sam's and Emily's.

Since we've been hanging out, Nessie has been more like her old self. It's no longer a struggle to get her to talk or to eat. She's making jokes and just last week she went shopping with Rose like she use to with Alice.

She's still having trouble with sleeping though. Nessie is stubborn and she won't talk to me about it. She just tells me it's a nightmare and not to worry. How can I not worry? She's getting like 4 hours of sleep and that can't be good for a person, half-vampire or not.

Since that day we took that nap, its become sort of like a ritual for us. It's the only way I know she can have peace and get some rest. I know she sleeps a lot better when I'm around. I think that's because I remind her of Jake. I know she's not over him and I know she probably never will be, but it makes me feel good to know that I can make her life better. Even if it's only for a few hours.

While I don't mind hanging out with Nessie, the rest of the pack does. Don't get me wrong, they love Nessie, they just feel like it's going to be another repeat episode of Jacob and Bella. Me being Jacob and of course Nessie being Bella. But it's not like that! I Love Nessie but not like that.

I was thinking about this when I walked into Sam's. I walked to the table and sat down. Delilah was in her bouncer on it and I started to play with her and a stuffed animal.

"Hello Seth," Emily said as she washed the dishes. "You're the first boy to show up today. Sam went to Port Angeles today, so I'm not expecting him home until later this evening," She turned around and looked at me. "Something on your mind?"

"It's nothing." I say, as I get up and pour me a glass of water. Dilly, as I called her, started fussing when I left her. I sat back down and picked her up. "Your getting real big there, Dilly Bar. Soon I won't be able to pick you up at all." I say to the six week old. I straighten up her light pink onesie and wipe drool of her mouth with a bib.

"Come on Seth. Talk to me." She said, sitting down in front of me, cup of coffee in hand. I couldn't help but notice how motherly she really looks. I laid Dilly back down.

"It's just that the guys are worried about how much time I've been spending with Nessie. I understand where they're coming from, I really do, but they need to give me more credit. I may not have been a wolf when all that crap went down with Bella but that doesn't mean I haven't seen it in their heads. I know what happened and I'm smart. I wont let that happen. Nessie is one of my best friends and I have no feelings for her." I finish, as I take a drink of water.

"You sound like you got it figured out," She says, standing up to fix a bottle. "but you also sound like your trying to convince yourself more then you are me," She gave me a knowing look, "Just don't get yourself hurt."

What did she mean? Wouldn't I know if I had a thing for Nessie. She's my best friend and she's also my best friends girl. Even if he left her. I never got to ask her what she meant because Embry and Quil came through the door.


	12. Alone and Back Together

In a daydream, I couldn't live like this  
I wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful  
When I wake up, I know I will have  
No, I still won't have what I need  
- Something Beautiful by NEEDTOBREATHE

* * *

I don't know when things started to change. All I know is that it started subtlety. Missed texts or phone calls. Visits became shorter until they just stopped. Now I'm alone again and I'm the broken shell that I was when Jacob left me. I don't understand why people leave me.

I haven't left my room in about two weeks. I look at myself in the mirror; my hair is a big rats nest, I have bags underneath my eyes, and there is no color to my face. I'm in some old flannel pajama pants and one of Grandpa Charlie's oversized Mariners shirts. I look like hell.

My family doesn't really bother me much. They bring me food but I won't eat. And I don't talk to them either. I feel bad about that, but I don't have anything to say.

I laid back down on my bed and checked my phone. Nothing. And I knew there would be nothing on there. He hasn't talked to me in weeks.

I hear a knock on my door. I buried my head underneath my pillow to ignore it. I hear my door open anyways after the sixth knock.

"Get up," said the voice of my Aunt Rosalie. She had the voice you didn't want to defy but right now I don't really care.

I didn't say anything. I just buried my face deeper into my bed. She'll leave eventually.

"Fine, if that's how you want to do things." I hear her leave the room and walk downstairs.

I smile to myself. She gave up pretty easy. I had just pulled the blanket over my body when I heard the door open again.

I felt her pull the blanket away and something cold and wet went down my back. I jumped up with a start.

"What the hell Rosalie?" I screamed. I looked down at my bed and myself. We were both soaked. I looked at my aunt. She had a 5 gallon bucket in her perfectly manicured fingers.

"I told you to get up," She said with a smirk. "You didn't listen." She walked over to my vanity and sat down. "You're pathetic."

I flinched. Wow. That hurt. I was use to people babying me. And I liked it like that.

"You mope around. You haven't left your room. God, when was the last time you took a shower? You whole family is worried about you. You know Alice and Jasper still can't come home because of you. Esme is very worried and don't get me started with your parents. You're being selfish!" She finished with a huff.

I looked down in shame. I've been so wrapped up in my own world that I've been ignoring my family and their feelings. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"I'm not the only one you need to apologize to." She walked over to me. "I didn't mean to be so harsh. I say you go over to Seth's and give him a piece of your mind. And dress up nice." She said with a smile.

"You know, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. Who does he think he is, ignoring me like that? I can't confront Jacob for leaving me, But I can confront Seth."

"Good girl. I'll go gather everybody and you can tell them you're sorry after you get ready. Don't forget to shower." She said as she walked out of my room.

I started with the shower I desperately needed. I used a lot of deep conditioner to untangle my curls. When I got out I felt better. It wasn't until after I had covered my dark circles with concealer and changed into a royal blue, light weight, spaghetti strap dress and white pumps that I became nervous. What was I going to say to him? What if he slammed the door in my face?

I made my way downstairs to see my family sitting in the living room. I stopped at the bottom step and let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding and began.

"I know I haven't been the best daughter, or granddaughter, or niece the last couple of weeks. I was hurt and in return I hurt you all. You have reached out to me and I ignored you and now I'm reaching out to you and I'm hoping you forgive me. Even though I don't deserve forgiveness. But I'm sorry." I looked down and started playing with my fingers. I felt someone put their arms around me. It was my mother.

"Honey, we know you were hurt and nobody blames you. I know how it feels to be left behind. But everything will work out. We love you."

I smiled into her shoulder. I felt like a little girl again. After hugs from everyone and reassuring words, I left for Seth's house.

By the time I reached his house, I still didn't know what to say. I got out of my car and made my way to his door. I willed myself to relax and knocked. No answer. After a minute I knocked again. Still no answer. I was half way down the porch steps when I heard the door open.

"Nessie?" I heard Seth say. "What are you doing here?"

I turned around and looked at him. He was dressed in a hunter green tee-shirt and blue jeans. His brown eyes full of confusion.

"Look, I'm just gonna come out and say it. You really hurt. You left me. You left me after what you saw Jacobs leaving did to me. You didn't even call me! I'm sick and tired of people leaving me and you're one of the few people I never thought would.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I know I hurt you but I didn't know what to do. I was a coward and I acted like Jacob."

"Why?" I questioned as I got closer to him. I walked back onto the porch.

He sighed. "Nessie, You are one of my best friends. I've spent so much time with you over the last few months and everything was going great. Then something changed. I started to have feelings for you. And that scared me. What if Jacob came back? I would be left. I would be just like Leah. And I know you don't feel the same way." He trailed off.

I didn't know what to say. So I just did the thing that made Jacob leave in the first place.

I kissed him.

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Thanks for reading! Please review!


	13. I'm So Sorry

Hey y'all. You will not believe how sorry I am about not updating. I graduated high school in May, and right after I went to the other side of the country to live with my sister until October. Her wireless internet wouldn't work with my laptop, so I couldn't update. Can you somehow updated on an IPhone? That would be awesome. I am truly sorry! Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things.

Also, I just need to know if anyone is interested in this story. I'm not one to beg for reviews but it helps to know that someone is reading this and is generally interested. So, please let me know! I greatly appreciate it!

Thank you for the understanding!


	14. The Start of Something New

**_I'd like to be my old self again_**

**_But I'm still trying to find it_**

**_-Taylor Swift – All Too Well_**

* * *

_I'm kissing Seth._

That's all I could think about at the moment. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I was sure he was going to push me away and say this is wrong but to my surprise he wrapped his arms around my waist and deepened the kiss. He pulled away after a minute and rested his forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry," He said as he looked into my eyes. I could see all the emotions in his big, brown eyes. Joy, confusion, and maybe a little lust, But not regret.

I pulled away from him. "No, you're not. I should be the one apologizing anyways. I don't know what came over me. This is the same exact thing that got me in trouble the last time."

He studied me for a moment and motioned for me to join him in his house. He walked into his living room and set down on a dark green sofa. I sat down next to him and surveyed the room. The walls were a dark wood paneling littered with pictures. On the wall to the left of us was a matching green love seat and above that was family portrait. It had four smiling, happy people in it. Seth looked about twelve. There was a man that I assumed was his father. Unfortunately, he died before I was born and I never got to meet him. Leah looked happy. She was smiling, which isn't something I'm used to seeing. And Sue was radiant. You could tell she was very content with life. I'm sure she never expected her life to turn out like this.

"You're right," Seth said, turning my attention back to him. "I'm not sorry. For kissing you back that is. You don't know how much I've wanted to do that. You make me feel so happy and that scares me. I'm truly sorry for not talking to you. I thought it would do us some good, but I just ended up hurting you. But hey, I got a kiss out of it."

I playfully smacked his arm as he chuckled. I ran my hand down his arm and held his hand in mine. He intertwined our hands and I got butterflies. I like Seth and I was adult enough to admit it. I liked the way I felt around him and he always looks at me like I have something important to say. He made me feel important.

I looked up from our hands and met his eyes. His stare was intense and I shivered. "You make me happy too, and I know we need to have a talk about this," I whispered. Where has my voice gone?

"Yes, we do," He nodded. "This probably won't end well. Jacob will come back and you'll go to him. It's fate and you all are soul mates."

There was a hint of sadness in his voice and that broke my heart. I didn't want to hurt him, even if I didn't mean to.

"Who says I would go back to him? I know I'm his imprint, but he's supposed to be whatever I want him to be. If I wanted to just be friends he do it. It doesn't have to be romantic."

"That's the thing Nessie," He said getting off the couch. He stood in front of me. "You kissed him. That obviously means you have some kind of romantic feelings for him!"

I rose from the couch and stood in front of him. I placed my hands on his shoulders. "Yes, I did. I can't take that back. We wouldn't be here if I hadn't kissed him. I would've never known how he felt about me, or how you felt about me, or how I even felt about you. So, I don't even regret it. I did want Jacob but I want you now."

He thought about that for a moment. "You know, the pack is going to flip about this right?" He said putting his hands on my waist.

"Oh yeah, definitely," I agreed as I pulled his lips to mine.

It wasn't but a minute into the kiss that we heard a throat being cleared. It was Sue.

"Oh, mom, hey," Was all that Seth got out. I quickly stepped away from her son and she was looking at both of us with such an intense gaze.

"Seth, would you be a dear and go to the grocery for me? I need some pasta and a couple of bell peppers for tonight's dinner." Sue said calmly.

"Uh, sure mom. Is that all?" He looked uncertain about what to do.

"Yes, and Nessie, you stay here and help me with everything else." She left no room for argument. I just simply nodded.

We watched Seth get his keys off the table by the door and leave. As soon as he started the car Sue turned around and walked into the kitchen. I followed, unsure at what to do.

She pulled out a skillet from under the stove and looked at me.

"Renesmee, we need to talk."

* * *

**Thank you all so much for sticking with me! I appreciate it so much! I'm almost to 50 reviews! Maybe we can make it with this chapter! Pretty please! Tell me what you all think and what you think is going to happen! I would love to hear some ideas! Please review!**

**Also, my thoughts and prayers are with the friends and families who were affected by the Newtown tragedy. My heart breaks every time I hear about it. Please keep them in your thoughts!**


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